Runaway Bride / W. Mark Felt Connection Exposed by the Tethermaster

The Tethermaster has learned, through his exclusive sources, that W. Mark Felt played such an intriguing and intricate role in the Runaway Bride adventure that it makes his deep throat gig look Mickey Mouse. In some strange, quasi-tangential relationship that even the Tethermaster has not yet figured out, a quasi-triangular-relationship was formed that resulted in the outing of none other than the Runaway Bride. You have to read on at this point to get the full impact of this quasi-_______ you fill in the blank, because whatever it is, it is definitely quasi. Here's how it went down. Hold on to your seats because it's absolutely going to be a wild ride. RB (Runaway Bride) has been a huge W. Mark Felt Fan for years - I mean years - going back to her youth when she was just another run of the mill Geogian Jogger. Pictures of her room at home taken exclusively by the Tethermaster show posters hanging of old DT, basically covering the walls. When asked about her room the Tethermaster said, "All I saw were pictures of the old DT, basically covering the walls." She contacted and confided in him at some point, not yet pinpointed, but at some point before she went awol for the rocky west. She told him, through a complex web of email, semifore, and flying pigeons - for security purposes, that she had suddenly been hit by feelings of quasi-wanderlust that had to be explored, for to be bottled would be a great wrong. Being a firm believer in Dianetics who also dabbled in eastern religions, the Markster concurred, and as he read these notes, he nodded his head in agreement. When asked by the Tethermaster, W. Mark said, "All I could do was nod my head in agreement, because what she was saying was working for me." But as she reached her Oz, RB found that it was not all gold at the end of the rainbow. "People were gross. I was on one level, and they were on another level. Their level was lower than my level." As she communicated her cataclysm to the Felt man, he sensed her displeasure. For her own good he decided to use his long unused powers of mediation to bring her home. He contacted the Tethermaster and began leaving subterraneous and sneaky clues as to her whereabouts in ways that spies and FBI agents can only dream about. For example, he would let the air out of the front passenger side tire of his car on Tuesdays if he knew where she was. This was a pain for him to go on errands on these days, but that was his milieu. If the Tethermaster then tore the right sleeve off of his shirt in the middle of Macy's young men's department at exactly 2:14 PM, then the old MF knew that the TM had seen the flat tire. He would then steal the 3rd day old newspaper from the library and write RB's current location on the 2nd page of the tempo section in pink highlighter, backwards, and throw it through TM's picture window with a rock attached. This stealth of strange communication known only to the FBI and Michael Crighton went on for the entire time of RB's disappearance. At some point in her flight, RB clicked on to MF's turnage. She could feel it. When asked by the Tethermaster she said, "I don't know what it was, but I could just feel that he had turned to the side of the media." Literally seconds before being found by a posse led by none other than MF himself, she outed herself back to her fiance. When asked to compare his role with RB's outage to Watergate, MF said proudly, "Watergate doesn't even begin to hold a candle to RB's episode. I don't even want to talk about Watergate anymore. Forget I ever brought it up."