Condensation on Glass

The Tethermaster has long suspected, and has nearly proven twice - but had his concentration broken by idiots - that the condensation that forms on the outside of glass containers is special. You see, the Tethermaster cannot stand to have sticky fingers. If he is eating something that can't be eaten with a fork, that's a problem. Running water had better be pretty darn close by! Anyway, he has long suspected that when a glass of ice has a liquid poured into it, that something unique happens. What happens you ask. Let's put it this way: It's not what you expect! Here's what happens. If you put Mountain Dew in a glass of ice and put it on the kitchen counter, and just let it sit there, condensation will form on the outside of the glass. Scientists have known this for years, and have repeated this experiment using the scientific method in countless kitchens around the world! So if you're already lost - you need help. OK. So. The Tethermaster has secretly funded a group of renegade scientists who have been meeting underground under deep cover. They are so secretive that they do not even know the true names of their associates! They are even given secret spouses who must wear masks and only cook meals with the George Foreman Grill! The Tethermaster doesn't even know who they are, and he hired them! Anyway, this team discovered, and documented in the World Journal of Scientific Discoveries (Glasgow Division), that the condensation that forms on the outside of glasses (of the kind described above) is actually the liquid that is in the glass! So if your glass has Coke 1, that liquid that is condensing on the outside of the glass is Coke 1! I told you you wouldn't believe me. I told you! If the Tethermaster hadn't funded this secret team, we'd all still be in the dark too! I told you! Another example - say the glass has Cherry Coke in it. That condensation on the outside of the glass is - you guessed it - Cherry Coke. I'd give more examples but I can't think of any more. You can try this at home as follows. Get a glass out of the cupboard. Actual glass is the best, because, to use the vernacular of science, it sweats more. Why - that's too complicated for you - just take my word. Put the glass on a formica counter top. Why - because soon it's going to sweat - and the formica people years ago suspected this whole gig as well and invented formica. Add ice. Now, get a room temperature can of Vernors Ginger Ale out of the pantry. Open the cap. Pour it into the glass. Wait for a few minutes. When you notice that the glass is starting to sweat, and condensation is forming on the outside of the glass, grab it and hold on for the ride! Now, close your eyes and lick your hand. Next, drink some of the Ginger Ale. You got it! It's the same! The money that the Tethermaster makes off of this discovery will more than cover the cost of his handi-wipes for years to come!