The Tethermaster to NASA: Same Sex Crews Needed

The Tethermaster has studied with keen interest the situation with the astronaut love triangle that is starting to get out of hand. If it keeps going this way, astronauts will be safer rocketing towards the uranus than they will be when they walk to their cars in a parking lot. Let's face it. There's something about mixed teams in space that drives women astronauts wild. Maybe it's the cologne that the men astronauts are wearing. Maybe its the way they don't shave for a long time while in space. Maybe it's the way men talk science talk in deep husky voices. Maybe it's the way that they move so smoothly around the cockpit. It could be any of these or a combination. I'm betting it's a combination. Let's face it. All it takes for good women to go bad is to have a man astronaut on their space team. When you really think about it, the word looney comes from the word lunar, which is feminine gender. People like to discount that. The Tethermaster is calling for NASA to do the following as soon as possible and no later than Monday. Number 1: At a minimum, require that there be no direct eye to eye contact between men and women astronauts that are on the same team. One thing leads to another. Number 2: At a minimum, require that women astronauts not fake having a cramp and then try to get the man astronaut to rub it. Number 3: Make all actual space missions solo, or at least have separate living arrangements or separate spaceships - one for the men, and one for the women. They could be connected by a special tether so the women don't get lost. Number 4: This is the most important. Make the astronaut suits less form fitting so the astronauts are always gauking at each other. Make them a lot baggier like clowns wear. However, still make sure that they're fit for space walks - let's not compromise safety! This is America. Let's act like it!